Parents and Children

Lately, I’ve been thinking about parents. There is something I find quite interesting:

When a couple has a child, it becomes their duty to raise them in such a way that they will contribute well to society and be a decent, respectable person; a person living a purposeful life. They go to great lengths to raise this child in the right way and often worry about whether or not the child will love them. Parents often feel that flaws in their child reflect flaws in their parenting. Meanwhile, this child is always seeking the approval of its parents.  We all just want to be certain that our parents really love us. We all long to hear our parents say “I’m proud of you.” Probably even more so the older we are. So, if you think about it, it’s like a strange cycle: parents are hoping to gain the love and approval of their child (as well as approval in how they raised their child), and children are hoping to gain the love and approval of their parents. This is all in a general sense, of course. There is something there between a parent and child. We need each other. We need each other until we have that final answer: Did I do a good job? Did my child turn out well? Did I make my parents proud? I think it is interesting that we find so much meaning in the answers to such questions. 

Even when a parent has died, as my mother has, one of the main things that floats around in the child’s mind is the question, “Did I make my mother/father proud?” To know that you did, makes all the difference in your coping.

And with parents that are still living, even if they have assured you that they are proud of you, you need re-assurance. Well I know I do, it may be different for others. I think it’s because things seem to change so much, we fear that nothing is constant. 

I don’t really have a point in all of this, it’s just something I was thinking about. I’m not really sure how to wrap this up… Well, if you have any thoughts on this, leave a comment, I’d love to read your thoughts. (by the way, I’m pretty sure  you don’t need to be signed up with this website to leave a comment, so go ahead!)

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3 thoughts on “Parents and Children

  1. How true! It is in our core being, the need to feel approved, accepted, to feel like we have done well. I know that I long for that with my parents, siblings, children, and God. Relationships between parents and children are always changing as we grow, and hopefully we will hold one another in high esteem, encourage, praise, and value one another for who we are: unique individuals with many strengths, weaknesses, talents, and ideas.

  2. That is very interesting thought to ponder, I think because God created us
    we have the need to be connected to people and God. And the good side of that connection is Love and understanding. We all want to be understood and Loved for who we really are, not only by our parents, but our siblings, friends, and almost everyone in our circle of life. Our souls long for some kind of connection, I think thats why when you feel you’ve connected with someone your soul feels joy. Parents ( If their good ) teach their children how to connect with people and God, so it’s not so much they want a pat on the back for doing a good job, they just hope they were able give their children the tools they need to be able to connect with people and God, so their souls will be fulfilled, and they will be able to experience the Love and Joy of living. The bttom line is Love is what life’s about, but the most powerful Love is unconditional, because thats what God gave us.

    • I agree with you that we want to be loved and understood by others (not just our parents), but, to me, it seems like it is a stronger desire to be understood and loved by our parents than by others…at least that’s how it is for me.
      I also agree that parents are not looking for a pat on the back so much, but what I meant by “doing a good job” is just what you described: giving their children tools to connect and in addition to that, to be successful in life (not necessarily just in a monetary way, but other ways as well).
      God certainly made us in such a way that we strive to have a connection with the people around us, I think it teaches us how to better connect with Him. I think that human relationships can be small models of different aspects of our relationship with God.

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