Past Poetry

I was cleaning my room the other day, which always involves looking through lots of stuff. It seems that every time I clean my room I take a little stroll down memory lane. I always enjoy running into my old notebooks with poems and stories and whatnot. Well, this time, I stumbled across a poem I wrote when my brother had just gone to boot camp and I missed him terribly. When I read the poem, tears came to my eyes as I realized something that I find quite interesting and a bit haunting: all the things I said in the poem can also be directly related to how I feel in losing my mother. It was like reading what I feel now. But how could I possibly understand this before I experienced it? The fact is, I didn’t. I had no idea what I was talking about. Yes, it was extremely hard for me to be without my brother in that seemingly long period of time. But the thoughts and feelings I described in the poem were not felt at the same intensity then as they are now. I just found it very interesting that something I wrote so long ago about a very different situation can be applicable to what I am going through now…I am almost annoyed at myself because now it seems that back then, I was being way to dramatic. That was nothing compared to this. 

So I guess I have to show you the poem now…here it is(bear in mind, I was a sophomore in high school when I wrote this…its not very good. Also, when I write poetry, I normally don’t follow any rules)  :

 “Moving On”

Oh, the terrible feeling
A loved one walking away
Out of my life
Leaving me
Alone.

The one that held me up
My support beam
Has now been broken down
Destroyed.
It makes me feel so weak
There’s nothing to hold me up

And so I franticly search,
Reaching for something to hold on to
But searching in vein
Finding nothing
Grasping on to only air
And slowly falling
I sink with my heart

And as I fall, I notice
I’m still standing upright
Wondering how
I search for what’s holding me up
It is invisible
Then a sudden burst of hope,
Hopes of moving on
Learning to cope
And building new friendships
New support beams. 

 

P.S.–If the grammar in this post is bad, its because I didn’t feel like reading over it because I’m sick of reading things that I wrote…haha…so I’m making you do it I guess…

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